'Jersey Shore': Read The Situation's Book Without Actually Reading The Situation's Book

If you need proof that the length of a book's title is NOT directly proportional to the amount of substative information within the book, you need look no further than Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting Your GTL on the Jersey Shore, by Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. The book hit stores yesterday, and today the Washington Post is the first (of what I hope will be many) to use the book's own contents against it in a quote-by-quote half-laugh, half-cringe inducing assessment.Which is blissfully convenient for people like you and me, who really wanted to know how The Situation's unique manner of speaking and idiotic philosophy translate to the page, but have too much self-respect to actually purchase a copy. Here, thanks to the Post and Jezebel, who did the hard work of actually sifting through the manual's pages, I've compiled the best/worst quotes from Here's the Situation. Judging from their assessment that the book is "light on text and heavy on doodles and graphics--pretty similar to The Situation's brain," I'm fairly certain this is all we ever need to know about its contents. Or ever want to know.

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